xu do sisku lo lojbo tcana
  [Home] [Manage]

Posts and uploaded files are owned by the poster. jbotcan.org is not liable for the content submitted by the poster. Downloading any poster-submitted files is doing so at your own risk.

[Return]
Posting mode: Reply
Painter: Width: Height: Source:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
Name
Link
Subject (encouraged)
Comment
File
Password (for post and file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 1000 KB.
  • Images greater than 200x200 pixels will be thumbnailed.
File: 1283198920260.jpg -(42117 B, 349x350) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. [Oekaki]
42117 No.1560  

Here is my attempted translation of the Three Oaths of Aes Sedai (from Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time series). want a review of my work, please. I suggest reading this page (and associated material from the books, etc.) before reading these, that way you can provide the best assistance: http://www.chu.cam.ac.uk/~MRB49/3Oaths1.html .

fi la gusni fa mi nupre lenu mi noroi cusku* su'opa lo valsi poi ke'a na'e jetnu ku'o .ijebo

fi la gusni fa mi nupre lenu mi noroi zbasu su'opa lo xarci tezu'e lenu su'opa lo prenu xacpli le xarci lenu le prenu cu catra su'opa lo remna ku'o ku'o ku'o .ijebo

fi la gusni fa mi nupre lenu mi noroi xacpli la .pav. mafnejn. va'onai lenu ri po'o su'opa la .ctinsef. ku mi xarci keiku .a lenu fanmo tadji bandu le zazjmive po mi .a su'opa lo mensi be mi bei leka me la'o bau Aes Sedai bau keiku be'o .a la badypre pebo mi ku'o

*Here, I did not know how to translate "speak". It /is/ predominantly the equivalent of [zo <<bacru>>], but not always. The unfortunate side of "express" seems to be that it would be broken too frequently by the actions of Aes Sedai in the series and the terbri structure may be off in my working of it.

The second one seems really wordy, but it loses some of its meaning if simplified. It is not the use of a weapon, just its intended use that matters- and, arguably, it has to be for the goal of killing. Notice that I said for the use of a "person" killing a "human" (which would encompass sentient Shadowspawn as the killers but not as the killees, usually). I changed the wording "man", obviously, to "person" and "human" in this context as well.

The last one is wordy too. I do not know how to express "except". Does [zo <<po'o>>] apply to the word before or after it? I meant it to apply to the sumti after it in this context. I do not know how to translate "last defense"- I tried "final-type of method-type of defense". "The life of" I translated into "the state-of-is-living strongly-associated-with". Can connectors follow [zo <<po>>]? Did I use [zo <<bo>>] correctly (saying "my Warder", but with "Warder" remaining a name)?

Thank you for the enlightening and helpful commentary that I am sure will follow.

>> No.1561  

(1) I wouldn't worry too much about cusku/speak. The whole thing has to be taken very metaphorically anyway since a word is never true (or false), it is sentences or propositions that can be true or false. And even if you change word to sentence, that would still mean they can't ask questions, make requests, give orders and so on, since those also can never be true. If you want to make it more literal you could say "mi nupre lo nu mi xusra no jitfa" = "I promise to assert no falsehood".

(2) I don't understand the point about the shift between prenu and remna. Are you changing the oath? The oath doesn't seem to stop them from making a weapon for a man to kill himself. And you do make it unnecessarily wordy, since "xarci" already has the places you need: "mi nupre lo nu noroi zbasu lo xarci be lo prenu bei lo drata" = "I promise never to make a weapon for use against a person by another".

>> No.1562  

>>1561

I like the point about "asserting no falsehood". :)

Okay, I will shorten it.

In the books there are monsters that are sentient. By saying "make no weapon for one person to kill a human", that means that they could not make weapons for the monsters to attack humanity but /can/ make weapons by which humanity may attack the monsters. This seems to be the spirit of their Oaths. (Hope that that made sense)

>> No.1564  

Also, you should probably use "nu'e" rather than "nupre" for the oath. "nupre" is to report someone making an oath, "nu'e" is for actually making the oath. Something like:

.ipamai nu'e la gusni mi cusku no valsi poi na jetnu
.iremai nu'e la gusni mi noroi zbasu lo xarci be lo prenu bei lo drata
.icimai nu'e la gusni mi na pilno ...

>> No.1566  

lo nupre be fi lo gusni doesn't seem right to me. Swearing by/on/under something isn't the same as addressing the promise to it. I'd look into a modal like ri'i (giving nu'e a more appropriate addressee). Other choices might be si'u, zau, se zu'e....


Delete Post []
Password